It’s 3am.. and I’m still awake.
3 nights ago we converted Leo’s cot from a cosleeper back to a normal cot, so naturally every night since, he has awoken multiple times with a whimper that would make a noteworthy Oscar nomination .. Mama..Mama.. Where for art thou Mama? ..
I’m sure his babbles become ‘why you no love me huh! Come back here and love me! I’ll cry so help me god, I’ll bring this whole place down!’.
Each time I’ve diligently picked him up, fed him back to sleep and waited the obligatory 10minutes to make sure he is fast asleep before attempting to bundle him up and transfer him back to his cot.. Currently I have a70% fail rate and I’m sure I’m making it harder on myself by
a) having a cot mobile that serves ONLY to get in the way, it’s not once helped in soothing baby to sleep, rather it attacks my babies foot as I winch him down, starts off a clunky rendition of Brahms lullaby if you so much as look at it or becomes tangled in my arm pit and twangs back like a catapult to alert said baby that Mommy is putting him to bed!
*Note to morning self .. Gift said Mobile to my worst enemy.
b) Not being prepared for the logistics of placing baby down in a lowered cot when only 5’2 and dealing with a 20lb sleeping Lorax. Each time I manage to scoop him up I inevitably fuck the landing, if it were the Olympics I’d most definitely have atleast 1 foot out of the designated line and most likely would have tore my leotard crutch on the landing too!
So I end up lolloping the poor child at the final few inches and thus he wakes up like an angry Italian and back we retreat to the bed.. Where the moment his head touches the sheets he falls back into a blissful sleep.. Slightly smirking as he no doubt knows he’s got me whipped.
Tonight’s highlights have included a 1am feed, and after the 10minute wait as I picked him up he burped in my face and spuked up half his milk,on my side of the bed.. just saying.
Naturally this disgruntled him so we moved over to Dads side (😁) where he rolled onto his front to sleep, trapping my arm underneath to stop me from pulling another fast one on him. His nappy can’t handle such a position and he pees right out the side, soaking not only me but Daddy’s side of the bed too.
I must add here I totally kick ass at doing a full outfit change on a sleeping baby.. Mostly because I’m now changing him huddled on the bottom of the bed avoiding the no go puddle patches up the top end!
I try transferring him back to his cot but fatally place him down on top of his blanket and full on have a conversation in my head about how feasible needing a blanket really is, I mean it is quite warm, he’d be fine right? .. As soon as I’ve said it I decide he needs his blanket and attempt to play Blanket Jenga by prising it out from under him.. I’ve not even got a corner free before his eyes bolt open and I’m back hunched over the bottom corner of the bed with one arm hanging off as he carries on his feed stretched out, cool as a cucumber and unaware of the onset of pins and needles in Mommies arm! 😝
So it’s now 4am and I’m down a clean bed, somewhere in the dark there’s a nappy to find and dispose of and a baby to move back to his cot.. Joyful! Felt like a good time to blog really 😂.
Update: hoorah! Baby is in the cot! … Guess my bed’s not as appealing once you’ve puked and pee’d in it, cheers kid! 😆